The PTA Dad: Adventures in Unfamiliar Territory

Jay Jefferson, PTA President. These are words that I truly thought would never be associated with me. But as the saying goes, “never say never.” So how did this Dad become the leader of a PTA traditionally dominated by Moms, you ask? We’ll that’s a very interesting story that has a few twists and turns. But, here is the short version of my adventures thus far, and the lessons I have learned along the way.

After having relocated to Miami from New York City with my wife and two young children, I was eager to connect with my new community. My daughter entered Kindergarten at Carver Elementary this academic year, so my wife and I wanted to get involved our school’s PTA. We made our interest known to the “then” incoming PTA President, who informed us of two recent vacancies on the Board. We jumped at the opportunity, and agreed to join. My wife became the Vice President of Membership, and I the Board’s Secretary. Yep, Secretary -another position not commonly dominated by Dads. But since my primary interest was really to work on revamping the PTA’s outdated website, I was told that serving as Secretary would assist me in my efforts. Ok, I jokingly thought to myself, “I’m breaking the glass ceiling for all future Dads who aspire to be PTA Secretary.” Further bolstering my confidence, I proclaimed with Dad-like bravado, “I got this…no problem!”

When school began in late August, I proudly assumed my new role at our daughter’s school. After a week or so of introducing myself as the PTA Secretary to fellow parents, school teachers and administrators -the majority of whom are women- I became aware that I might have a problem. Not only had these individuals never encountered a male PTA Secretary, but they had rarely seen a Dad take an active role in school -period. Apparently, all of this was as new to them as it was to me.

Yet, instead of retreating to the background to avoid the awkward stares -which I admit I thought long and hard about doing- I decided to flip the script, and draw more attention to myself. Yeah, counter institutive, I know. But since I was already in the position, I thought I should let my role as Secretary make it less awkward for other Dads to engage with their children at school. And as I jokingly explained to all that gave me that initial look of disbelief after I would introduce myself, “The name of the organization is Parent-Teacher Association, and Dads are parents too.”

After a couple of months, the shock and awe surrounding my role as Secretary waned. My relationship with fellow parents, school teachers and administrators -again, the majority of whom are women – grew better as I allowed my actions to speak for themselves. I had initiated a new weekly PTA newsletter that I would personally edit and print, then have distributed to every parent via our school’s weekly communicator folders. Additionally, I began updating the content to the PTA’s existing website, with a focus of posting more event recaps and photos depicting all the wonderful activities taking place at the school. In doing so, I realized that I was often times the only Dad involved at many of these events. A fact I took personal since I had endured a few months of “Mr. Secretary” jokes and humorous references. What had gone wrong with my plan to have other Dads join me in my quest for equality in parent-child engagement at school? I felt truly defeated.

At that very time, the “then” PTA President decided to withdraw her child from the school, and vacate her position on the Board. In hindsight, I can now say this presumably bad situation presented a good opportunity. I was asked by the remaining Board members to become President, and this recommendation was endorsed by the teachers and administrators. Again, I thought long and hard about the challenges of assuming this new role, especially since I had just started to settle into my old role. Ultimately, I said yes, and my nomination was approved by the remaining Board members, the teacher and administrators as well as the Florida State PTA. I quickly went to work repairing and improving relationships with the teachers and administrators. Additionally, I initiated a rebranding campaign to reinforce the mission of the organization as serving to benefit every child at Carver Elementary by working to ensure they receive the best possible education. I reached out to a cross section of parents and guardians to join the new PTA Team I was building -successfully recruiting six new Committee Chairs. We have since received numerous accolades for the many activities and events we have hosted. In my few months as President, the new PTA Team and I have in the words of one teacher, “brought new life to the school through our positive energy and passion.” Yes, we’ve made great progress, but still have much more work to do -with one of my highest priorities being to encourage other Dads to participate in the PTA, and become active at school. I cherish the fact my daughter knows I love her so much that I want to be involved in her school. I especially like the twinkle in her eye when she says to her classmates, “My Dad is the PTA President.” For that, all the hard work is worth it!

So what have I discovered in my adventures thus far? Well, I’ve learned that there are times when you choose the situation with which to become involved, and then there are times when the situation chooses you. As a PTA Dad, I have learned to embrace both. Furthermore, my quest for equality in parent-child engagement at school will be won one Dad at a time -but we will get there. “I got this…no problem!”

In my life, I loved you more…

Rosita and Papa

Throughout my childhood my father always told my siblings and I, “When I die, I won’t be leaving you money, because we’re not rich. The only thing I can give you that you will have forever is an education.” My dad was right – when he passed, no lawyer came up to let us know he left millions in inheritance. However, he did keep true to his word and provided us all with the opportunity to pursue higher education.

My parents are extremely intelligent, both with a Masters in Chemistry, and my mother even has a second Masters in Education Administration. The importance of education was always stressed in my home. Even with working full-time jobs and taking classes at night (ESL when they first arrived in this country and later graduate courses), my parents always stayed up to help with homework or projects. And my parents didn’t only strive to educate us, but others as well. After they retired, they both taught ESL classes to bilingual parents in the community. We always knew that education was a big deal to our folks, but my dad was wrong in saying that education is the only thing he would leave us.

This past week was the hardest week of our lives. What got us through it was remembering all the things my dad, or as we called him, “Papá”, left us. We talked as a family about what each of us siblings had inherited from Papá. We decided my brother Carlos, the oldest, inherited Papá’s sense of humor. My dad was always cracking corny jokes and being a goofball. My sister Liz got his love of dancing. At any party they attended, my parents were always the first people on the dance floor, and they were always the last ones to leave. I got his taste in music. On the weekends, Papá and I would sit together in the living room and listen to the Beatles and other oldies music, which I still prefer to listen to over any music that’s playing on a Top-40 station. Gloria, the youngest, inherited his temper and strength. My dad had a pretty scary temper, but to this day he is the strongest person I know and it’s a strength I see in my little sister.

Papá left us so much – memories, funny stories, and words of wisdom. I’ll never forget what he said when I told him I was taking a job with the National PTA and would be moving from our hometown of Joliet, Ill., to Chicago. He said, “Mija, I gave you all wings so that you could fly.”

Papá, we will miss you so much. Thank you so much for giving your children and so many others the gift of education – a gift that is much more valuable than money. You also left a bit of you in each of your children. You will always be in our hearts.

Please join me in supporting PTA’s Million Hours of Power campaign to encourage more men to get involved and support the education of their children. Vote at Pepsi Refresh Project.

– Rosa Vivanco is Programs & Partnerships Coordinator for PTA.  Her mother, Liduvina, resides in Minooka, IL  along with her two sisters and niece, Lily. Minooka is near Rosa’s hometown of Joliet, IL  where her brother and his family live.

How Dad Is Involved

Welcome to back to school time. I love the fall of the year. The weather is great (even better when you can drive a convertible), you can sleep with the windows open at night and then there’s FOOTBALL! Not pro, I’m talking High School and College. This past week Tyler (14), William (11), my wife Teresa and I attended one of our neighborhood’s longest standing rivalry games; Eastside High (blue) and Wade Hampton High (red/white). As a way of background, our two oldest (Matthew and Jennifer) attended Eastside and our two youngest will attend Wade Hampton, talk about a house divided…

Now how does this tie into Dads, Grandfathers, Uncles or any male role model supporting a student’s “back to school” adventure? Simple, you’re together!

Study after study show that when one parent is engaged in a child’s education that child is successful but when both parents are engaged that same student is even more successful.

For years we have heard from the male role models in a child’s life that “I’m not so sure I have the time to volunteer . . .” Well, has PTA got a plan for you!

This year the National PTA launched “The Million Hours of Power” campaign where we are asking 350,000 men to offer a minimum of three hours of volunteer time for their child’s school, or a local school in your neighborhood. Even if you do not have a child in school you can still take part. Now I can hear it from here, “I’m not sure I can give three hours?” OK, so let me ask you two simple questions. 1) Can you leave home go to a movie and return in less than 180 minutes? and 2) Can you at least give it a try? We’re only talking about 3 hours for the entire school year. Not 3 hours a week or a month, the entire year.

Through the “Million Hours of Power” PTA is planning to highlight new and exciting opportunities, and ideas, for getting more men engaged. It’s that simple! Can we count on you? PTA has incredible opportunities for all families; in this case we need every interested man to get engaged.

Take a minute and visit pta.org and see what the “Million Hours of Power” campaign provides. While on the computer please take an additional moment and go to the Pepsi Refresh Project and vote for the “Million Hours of Power”

As we move into this school year take a few minutes for your child and their education. I can assure you that it is time well spent!

What Do You Consider As Justice?

What Do You Consider As Justice?

Recently a local prosecutor in Detroit Michigan made news by proposing a law that would have legal repercussions for parents who do not take part in such activities as parent teacher conferences. Now, I’ll admit that her proposal would probably be for those parents who are the worst offenders, but really? In California, a state Senate bill has recently passed a committee vote that lays out a series of punishments for the same lack of action by parents, in simple terms, not attending parent teacher conference and/or allowing their students to go un-supervised.

These two suggested pieces of legislation has our media outlets buzzing and educational leaders wondering where did this all came from? And the question is valid, where is this coming from?

PTA has long been an advocate for parent engagement. Parents, grand-parents, adult care givers should all be active participants in a child’s educational experience. These political recommendations should give us a great opportunity to both discuss options for getting adults engaged and why some elected officials find it necessary to impose legislation for parent involvement with a hammer versus identify more positive solutions.

One example of a positive plan for parent engagement is the Parent Engagement in Education Act, HR5211. This legislation helps schools and school districts develop best practices for parent engagement, it’s that simple!

When I was in school, Dad worked and Mom volunteered at my school. Today, both parents work and in many cases more than one job each. Many parents don’t have the time today that they had in years past, so PTA must work harder and longer to help encourage any caring adult to spend time in their local school.

Although I do not agree with negatitive legislation that seems to force a parent’s involvement, the concern is real. PTA must work to see that our parents, elected officials and the public in general understand that there are more positive solutions to addressing these concerns.

For more parental involvement tips and helpful guides, please visit http://www.pta.org/topic_parent_involvement.asp