The PTA Dad: Adventures in Unfamiliar Territory

Jay Jefferson, PTA President. These are words that I truly thought would never be associated with me. But as the saying goes, “never say never.” So how did this Dad become the leader of a PTA traditionally dominated by Moms, you ask? We’ll that’s a very interesting story that has a few twists and turns. But, here is the short version of my adventures thus far, and the lessons I have learned along the way.

After having relocated to Miami from New York City with my wife and two young children, I was eager to connect with my new community. My daughter entered Kindergarten at Carver Elementary this academic year, so my wife and I wanted to get involved our school’s PTA. We made our interest known to the “then” incoming PTA President, who informed us of two recent vacancies on the Board. We jumped at the opportunity, and agreed to join. My wife became the Vice President of Membership, and I the Board’s Secretary. Yep, Secretary -another position not commonly dominated by Dads. But since my primary interest was really to work on revamping the PTA’s outdated website, I was told that serving as Secretary would assist me in my efforts. Ok, I jokingly thought to myself, “I’m breaking the glass ceiling for all future Dads who aspire to be PTA Secretary.” Further bolstering my confidence, I proclaimed with Dad-like bravado, “I got this…no problem!”

When school began in late August, I proudly assumed my new role at our daughter’s school. After a week or so of introducing myself as the PTA Secretary to fellow parents, school teachers and administrators -the majority of whom are women- I became aware that I might have a problem. Not only had these individuals never encountered a male PTA Secretary, but they had rarely seen a Dad take an active role in school -period. Apparently, all of this was as new to them as it was to me.

Yet, instead of retreating to the background to avoid the awkward stares -which I admit I thought long and hard about doing- I decided to flip the script, and draw more attention to myself. Yeah, counter institutive, I know. But since I was already in the position, I thought I should let my role as Secretary make it less awkward for other Dads to engage with their children at school. And as I jokingly explained to all that gave me that initial look of disbelief after I would introduce myself, “The name of the organization is Parent-Teacher Association, and Dads are parents too.”

After a couple of months, the shock and awe surrounding my role as Secretary waned. My relationship with fellow parents, school teachers and administrators -again, the majority of whom are women – grew better as I allowed my actions to speak for themselves. I had initiated a new weekly PTA newsletter that I would personally edit and print, then have distributed to every parent via our school’s weekly communicator folders. Additionally, I began updating the content to the PTA’s existing website, with a focus of posting more event recaps and photos depicting all the wonderful activities taking place at the school. In doing so, I realized that I was often times the only Dad involved at many of these events. A fact I took personal since I had endured a few months of “Mr. Secretary” jokes and humorous references. What had gone wrong with my plan to have other Dads join me in my quest for equality in parent-child engagement at school? I felt truly defeated.

At that very time, the “then” PTA President decided to withdraw her child from the school, and vacate her position on the Board. In hindsight, I can now say this presumably bad situation presented a good opportunity. I was asked by the remaining Board members to become President, and this recommendation was endorsed by the teachers and administrators. Again, I thought long and hard about the challenges of assuming this new role, especially since I had just started to settle into my old role. Ultimately, I said yes, and my nomination was approved by the remaining Board members, the teacher and administrators as well as the Florida State PTA. I quickly went to work repairing and improving relationships with the teachers and administrators. Additionally, I initiated a rebranding campaign to reinforce the mission of the organization as serving to benefit every child at Carver Elementary by working to ensure they receive the best possible education. I reached out to a cross section of parents and guardians to join the new PTA Team I was building -successfully recruiting six new Committee Chairs. We have since received numerous accolades for the many activities and events we have hosted. In my few months as President, the new PTA Team and I have in the words of one teacher, “brought new life to the school through our positive energy and passion.” Yes, we’ve made great progress, but still have much more work to do -with one of my highest priorities being to encourage other Dads to participate in the PTA, and become active at school. I cherish the fact my daughter knows I love her so much that I want to be involved in her school. I especially like the twinkle in her eye when she says to her classmates, “My Dad is the PTA President.” For that, all the hard work is worth it!

So what have I discovered in my adventures thus far? Well, I’ve learned that there are times when you choose the situation with which to become involved, and then there are times when the situation chooses you. As a PTA Dad, I have learned to embrace both. Furthermore, my quest for equality in parent-child engagement at school will be won one Dad at a time -but we will get there. “I got this…no problem!”

Let’s all Connect for Respect and Put a Stop to Bullying

As the parent of four, with two sons still in middle school, I have seen firsthand how bullying can hurt our students. For my wife, Teresa, and I this issue started with our youngest experiencing illness at home and school every day. He would wake up each day physically ill, not wanting to go to school, this coming from a child who was rarely ill and loved school. We started digging down and discovered that both of our sons had experienced being bullied.

Bullying has led to so many tragedies. We have seen news accounts where students have taken their own lives because they were bullied by others. Bullying causes so many issues; bad grades, health issues, self esteem issues; all harmful and negative for our children.

PTA members, parents and caregivers must get engaged in this conversation. We must help our children understand why these actions are wrong. We must help teachers and school administrators know that we will support their efforts in the school to combat issue. This is not a “kids will be kids” issue, this is serious! Kids are hurting kids and it must stop.

That’s why we’re proud to announce today the launch of a new bullying prevention campaign, called Connect for Respect. PTAs everywhere have supported bullying prevention for years and today, with this campaign, we are reaffirming our commitment to the cause.

We announced the launch of this initiative in a news release this morning, as well as during our participation today in the White House Conference on Bullying Prevention. It is our hope that PTAs across the country will get involved in raising awareness about this important issue with the parents, children and families they serve.

Through this initiative, PTAs can get involved by:
1. Hosting a Connect for Respect event in their communities and sharing resources with parents about bullying.
2. Encouraging parents to talk to their child about bullying and to advocate for policies and practices that will create a safe school climate for all children.
3.Providing resources for parents and PTAs to get involved. PTA has created five tip sheets to increase parents’ understanding of bullying, how to prevent it, and how to recognize if your child is the bully. PTA has also created some “how to” materials to support our PTAs in planning their own Connect for Respect event.

Please join us in this effort and don’t wait until this happens to your family. Visit www.PTA.org/bullying to help put a stop to bullying!

The Man Behind the Cloak and Lens

My dad was a magician…. Well so I thought when I was younger.  I would enter my class with a shiny, silver penny almost everyday.  The kids would be in awe,wondering how I got a silver penny.  Everyone knew pennies were copper of course.  However, my answer was simple. “ It’s magic, my daddy made it.”  My dad was not a magician, but a Middle School Science Teacher  (He actually had to leave a PTA meeting because my mom went into labor with me).

Anyway back to the magic….We  (My brother, sister and I) went to school early with him everyday and I am sure he had to find some ways to entertain us before the school bell rang.  So he would mix some “magic potions” and make  smoke, fire and my beloved silver pennies.  Looking back I truly appreciated my father being apart of my home and school life.  Knowing he could pop up at any moment definitely altered my behavior at school.  I saw him at lunch, recess and after school.  To be honest, I didn’t always want him around but was secretly comforted that he was a door or two away.

I also have a vivid memory of my childhood because of my father.  Because of his passion for photography he made sure to capture every moment on film.  Each of my siblings have at least 3 gigantic photo albums  each, starting from day one that chronicles every play, sport, dance recital, cotillion and graduation we were apart of.  Many people may not know what my father looked like because he was in a lab coat (magic cloak) or behind a lens.

Flash forward to about 20 years later.  My dad now retired but has played the same active role in my nephew’s life.  His life is being captured on film and he sets up little science projects for him to discover.  He even wants to be a magician.

But it’s really not about the magic.  The memories are about the time that was shared.  My dad is the same as any other male figure who wants to be apart of a child’s life.  Children want you to be present and active in their lives.  That is why we are so excited about the Million Hours of Power Movement and what it can mean for so many children.  It means the nurturing of the next great scientist, photographer and yes maybe even magician.

You don’t have to be a male to help us in our plight for male involvement.   Simply start with voting.

Vote for PTA’s Million Hours of Power in the Pepsi Refresh project, then encourage everyone you know to vote for PTA.

– LaWanda Amaker is the Marketing/Communications Manager  for National PTA based in Alexandria VA. Her parents  Lin and Carolyn Amaker live in Orangeburg, SC where they raised her and her two siblings – Maurice and Sherrie

Bottom Line — Father Figures Help Families

Andre Ellis and Richard Thomas at Graduation May 2010 Father figures – they have added up over the years. I started with one – my mother Kristyl Thomas. Yes, I am the oldest son of a single-mother. She’d say to me, “I may not be a man, but I am going to raise you to become one. Until then, I am the man of this house. I am your mother and your father.”

I was intimidated at first. Over time, I quite naturally questioned how my mother could be both mother and father. I questioned whether or not I could identify one man who exemplified the characteristics of a father figure. I built relationships with mentors, teachers, artists, coaches, relatives, and strangers all of whom were men and women. I could say all of them were father figures. I saw them at their best and at their worst.

At his worst…

One mentor in particular, Andre Lee Ellis, a family friend and entrepreneur lives in Milwaukee where he produces Stage Theater. After one of his productions one night, my mother introduced me to him and told him he should put me in his next show. He said I’d have to attend his acting classes and audition as he recommends all of his actors. I wanted the opportunity to shine so I attended classes, but by the time auditions rolled around, his theater company closed.

At his best…

While he did not in fact have a theater company, he made it his sole job to train me to be what I wanted to be, an actor. He dedicated man hours to assure me that he would cast me in a show someday; if not I would be on the big screen. Until then, Mr. Ellis trained me when I wanted to compete in high school forensics in the category of Drama; to compete in NAACPs ACT-SO competition; and to audition for college theater programs. I don’t remember being on the big screen because it never happened, but I remember when he said, “acting means to always be art in motion.”

“Acting is more than saying the lines, you have to feel them with actions,” he said. “You have to make them feel real. You got to make moves, you can never fake moves.”

He was good at answering my questions. I always had questions. One question I never asked Mr. Ellis was whether or not he would open a theater again. I never asked because he always said that he would. But, he had much to say, much advice and many answers to my questions overall.

I asked him at one time, how my mother could be both a mother and a father. He said, anyone can be anything and actions speak louder than convictions.

His word proved to be true. He was right. My mother’s actions have exuded beyond the barriers of sound. She has raised me to be the man that I am to so many people. He was right. He did reopen his theater company. In fact, Mr. Ellis recently reestablished his theater company and became the owner of the first African-American performing arts group to have their own space to work in Milwaukee.

Time spent being trained by Mr. Ellis was about more than acting experiences, but object lessons for me. In my eyes, he exemplified the characteristics of a father figure. I would not go so far as to say he was a better father than my mother because she raised me to be the man that I am for her and others. I would say Mr. Ellis is a father figure who has dedicated valuable “Hours of Power” to help me become the man my mother raised me to be for my community. Bottom line, father figures help families.

Vote for PTA’s Million Hours of Power in the Pepsi Refresh project, then encourage everyone you know to vote for PTA. Your voting power can provide a voice for children who need father figures.

As a Fan of Golf, I’ve gone to Heaven!

Earlier this week, I had the privilege to attend an event hosted through the Professional Golfers’ Association (PGA) which honored the late Payne Stewart. Anyone who has observed the game of golf for some time can remember Payne as a member of the PGA family who respected not only the game, but honored his family, his faith and his community.

As a much younger golf fan, I admired Payne’s commitment, his flair for life and his dress code. Following his passing, the PGA and the Payne Stewart Foundation established the Payne Stewart Award which is given annually to a member of the PGA family who represents the ideals of respect, tradition, heritage and charity.

During the awards event I had the opportunity to meet PGA greats like Nick Price, Jay Haas (from my home town of Greenville), Ernie Els, Hal Sutton, Brad Faxon, Kenny Perry and this year’s recipient Tom Lehman. I felt like a kid in a candy store! Beyond those moments of excitement I realized that PTA has an opportunity, to recognize the talents and dedication of male role models throughout our nation.

As part of his acceptance of this year’s honor, Tom Lehman said he had two heroes in his life; his wife and his father. Afterwards I told Mr. Lehman that he and I shared one common belief, our hero’s!

If you’re a dad; granddad; uncle or male role model, you’re a future hero. Take today’s opportunity to make sure the children in your life today see you as a hero tomorrow. Get engaged!

Charles J. “Chuck” Saylors,
National PTA President

A Personal Plea to Get Involved

The value of being an involved parent often comes in the form of smiles and hugs from your children. They show their appreciation for your involvement readily. Your involvement, even at the most basic level, demonstrates how much you care and that caring can produce a tremendous impact that extends beyond your kids.

I wish I could claim my presence as a chaperone on a field trip made the difference between David getting an A in some class rather than a B. I can’t. But I can say that my involvement in his and his brother’s school contributes to their positive attitudes about school. A positive attitude makes homework more tolerable and promotes a relaxed learning environment.

What I’ve also discovered is that I provide this support and uplift not just for my sons but the other children as well. Some of my children’s classmates lack a significant father figure. I fill that role even if it is just for a short time. The involvement of my wife and I inside and outside the classroom helps ensure students receive the attention and guidance they need and deserve.

Parent involvement helps the teachers, too. We all know they have a demanding job. Volunteers free teachers to do more. And teachers become motivated when they know parents care. That benefits the entire class.

I don’t speak only from experience. The importance of parent involvement is backed by research. A 2010 University of Chicago study identifies parent involvement as one of the five “key ingredients” for school improvement in low-income, urban schools. Other research clearly shows that when families are involved in their children’s learning, both at home and at school, their children do better academically.

Perhaps the biggest impact family involvement can have is that it often expands. I chaperoned one field trip and the next thing I knew I was coaching a girls basketball team. I made these commitments without hesitating. Sure, I’m as busy as any other working parent. But I find the time in my family’s schedule. It’s almost miraculous how the timing always seems to work out.

Unfortunately, men are underrepresented when it comes to getting involved in their children’s schools. That is changing. But it needs to change more. National PTA’s Million Hours of Power campaign aims to build on this momentum. We want at least 350,000 men to volunteer at least three hours service to children—in school, at community events, wherever men feel comfortable volunteering to help children. To help us reach that goal, we are pursuing a $250,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh campaign. The top two vote-getters this month earn the grants.

We’ve moved up about 60 spots in the rankings for the Pepsi Rrefresh $250,000 grants and have already logged thousands of hours toward the Million Hours of Power. We need your help to reach these two goals.

We tend to see only our children. We miss the world of their peers and how the connections between our kids, their friends, their teachers, and the school weave together to form the complex tapestry that is your child’s educational experience.
So if you care about your kids…
If you care about their friends and classmates…
If you care about their teachers…
If you care about the state of education in America…
Then vote in the Pepsi Refresh campaign so PTA can put tools in place to help men get more involved. One man contributing three volunteer hours this year will produce positive results that resonate throughout the classroom, the school, the community.

How Dad Is Involved

Welcome to back to school time. I love the fall of the year. The weather is great (even better when you can drive a convertible), you can sleep with the windows open at night and then there’s FOOTBALL! Not pro, I’m talking High School and College. This past week Tyler (14), William (11), my wife Teresa and I attended one of our neighborhood’s longest standing rivalry games; Eastside High (blue) and Wade Hampton High (red/white). As a way of background, our two oldest (Matthew and Jennifer) attended Eastside and our two youngest will attend Wade Hampton, talk about a house divided…

Now how does this tie into Dads, Grandfathers, Uncles or any male role model supporting a student’s “back to school” adventure? Simple, you’re together!

Study after study show that when one parent is engaged in a child’s education that child is successful but when both parents are engaged that same student is even more successful.

For years we have heard from the male role models in a child’s life that “I’m not so sure I have the time to volunteer . . .” Well, has PTA got a plan for you!

This year the National PTA launched “The Million Hours of Power” campaign where we are asking 350,000 men to offer a minimum of three hours of volunteer time for their child’s school, or a local school in your neighborhood. Even if you do not have a child in school you can still take part. Now I can hear it from here, “I’m not sure I can give three hours?” OK, so let me ask you two simple questions. 1) Can you leave home go to a movie and return in less than 180 minutes? and 2) Can you at least give it a try? We’re only talking about 3 hours for the entire school year. Not 3 hours a week or a month, the entire year.

Through the “Million Hours of Power” PTA is planning to highlight new and exciting opportunities, and ideas, for getting more men engaged. It’s that simple! Can we count on you? PTA has incredible opportunities for all families; in this case we need every interested man to get engaged.

Take a minute and visit pta.org and see what the “Million Hours of Power” campaign provides. While on the computer please take an additional moment and go to the Pepsi Refresh Project and vote for the “Million Hours of Power”

As we move into this school year take a few minutes for your child and their education. I can assure you that it is time well spent!

Father's Day- Get in the Game

Father’s Day is 100 years old. It goes without question that when a parent is involved in a child’s education they succeed, but when both parent’s are engaged the child is much more successful.

So on this Father’s Day, we would like thank the dedicated parents of our country for their love, support and dedication for their children and the students of all our communities.

Dad’s play a key role. Father’s Day is but one day to celebrate and show up for the part. We encourage you continue to find the time to get engaged.

 

As a working Dad, I know how hard it is to find extra time to volunteer. If you haven’t dared to play an active part in your child’s education, here is a challenge. “Can you find 3 hours during the school year?” Three hours is all it takes, and can make all the difference for your child as well as their classmates.

Dad, thank you! Keep up the good work.